This is what I get for complaining about glitter

Within several days, I have found glitter where glitter doesn’t belong. On my couch. On my boobs. (?!)  In my kitchen sink.  And on Evil Genius’s face.

SERIOUSLY. I post one (okay, 2) rants about glitter and suddenly IT IS EVERYWHERE. It went from Tinkerbell taking a shit on my porch to Tinkerbell getting straight up murdered ALL OVER MY HOUSE.

Then one of my friends showed me this little gem: Barbie Loves Glitter Glam Vacuum and Doll – Mattel – Toys “R” Us.


Come again what?  WHY?  Why is a doll like this necessary?  I suppose I could launch into a diatribe about gender roles and how it is acceptable and even encouraged to keep kids penned within the parameters set for them by our corporate run society (why can’t Barbie ever come with a clam digging kit or mud pies or a monster truck?  Why can’t Superman be crafty?) but that’s not what this blog is about.

(Honestly, I don’t even know what this blog is about.  Do I have a focus?  I don’t think I have a focus.  Story of my life!)

One could say that hey, look!  It comes with its own vacuum!  There are a couple of problems with this.  One, kids are destructive.  My own kids are miniature Godzillas.  Give them a plastic toy and they will attempt to break the world record for toy devastation.  Considering how easy it is to break plastic unless it’s a freaking car seat, wouldn’t that defeat the purpose of the vacuum?  Two, what about the fact that GLITTER IS EVIL AND CANNOT BE EASILY EXORCISED?  And three, uhhhh, how do you dispose of the glitter once the vacuum is full?  Glitter is light, and if you dump it out it’s just going to get all over everything ALL OVER AGAIN.

I’m telling you, we need to band together as parents and have glitter banned.  It is a persistent nuisance, a blight on homes and daycares everywhere.  Screw the commercialization of childhood and the early sexualization of our girls thanks to the media, clothing manufacturers, and merchandise companies.  GLITTER IS THE REAL PROBLEM HERE.


About That One Girl

I do a bang up job of pretending to be a stay at home wife and mother. I also pretend to be a writer with my blog A Center in the Insanity. (, go check it out!)

Posted on 2011/07/29, in Parenting. Bookmark the permalink. 2 Comments.

  1. Should I tell you about my recent rant about unicorns being the quintessential patriarchal symbol?

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